Bonding issues in children
Many children experience issues around Bonding and attachment. In my experience these issues can arise when there is an interruption in a baby’s sense of connection to Mom or Dad, leaving the child feeling insecure and unsafe and unsure of themselves and the world around them. Read more
Early life upsets and shocks, especially around the time of the baby’s birth can create this unsafe feeling, and this feeling can cause the baby to remain unsettled, even into later years. Read more about the shock part here
This often goes on to affect a child much later and can manifest as neediness, separation anxiety, and sometimes aggressive behaviour.
The Bonding reflex, is a primitive reflex and can be affected by shocks and trauma. Primitive reflexes are inbuilt automatic primal movement patterns which are present in the body in early life to keep us alive. They should become inhibited over time but trauma and shock can cause problems in relation to their inhibition. When this happens it is as though the body is stuck in primitive mode and this can affect physical movement as well as emotional integration in children. When the bonding reflex is ‘stuck’ the set point for the child’s emotional level is not where it should be. They are always out of sorts and can feel insecure and needy no matter how much attention they recieve.
How do Bonding and attachment issues effect children?
If a child doesn’t feel safe in general, a whole host of symptoms may be present. Common symptoms include;
- The need for constant reassurance ( needing Mom’s/ Dad’ attention)
- Over sensitive to others feelings
- Difficulties with authority
- The child may be inclined to reject themselves and others with hostility and aggression.
- Learning is made difficult because the child needs constant praise from the teacher.
What does Tony Galvin do to help with Bonding and Attachment?
The therapies that Tony uses target the deep subconcious parts of ourselves and of our children. Kinesiology (Tony’s principle toolkit) allows us to balance stress in amazing and unique ways operating at this deep level. Kinesiology uses Chinese medicine in an incredibly creative way – it is a western adaptation of the Chinese model.
By targeting the primitive reflexes we can work with the primal parts of the brain where very deep subconscious patterns are stored.
Bonding and attachment issues occur at the earliest parts of our lives as humans when our brains are developing and creating our understanding of the world. We can only guess at what our perception is like at this stage. The beauty of the models Tony uses is that they help to balance emotional stresses at the deepest levels – even the primal ones. The process of finding the right resolution is fascinating and unique to each child.
I’ve worked with lots of children with bonding and attachment problems and it is amazing to see how quickly they can change and how deeply the work can affect them.
Here is an email I received from a very happy Mom. We worked on bonding and separation. One session made a huge change…..
Keelin (age 7) is doing great. From the second we left your office she has never looked back. She skips in and out of school every day now without any tears or drama. All the stress at bed time in anticipation of morning is gone. The stress of having to go to school is now a distant memory.
Thanks for your help. It’s very much appreciated. Please use this email as a testament to your work.
Eilish Finn (Mallow, Co. Cork)