Confidence is all about self expression. If you believe that you can express yourself, in every situation, in accordance with your values, then confidence flows through you. Values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what “ought” to be. “Freedom of speech”, “Excellence deserves admiration”, and “People should be treated with respect and dignity” are representative of values.
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I recently worked with a young woman who had an underlying feeling of vulnerability. Her confidence, particularly around assertion was not where she wanted it to be. As mentioned above, confidence arises from the capacity to express and live through your personal values. The young woman believed that it was not safe for her to express the value “I am entitled to stand up for myself”. If you feel like you can’t stand up for yourself, then you couldn’t possibly be confident.
Kinesiology, the subconscious and confidence
It is always the priority of your subconscious to protect you. You will put your survival before the desire to express a value if you are under threat. If the threat or perceived threat is maintained over time, then the value is shelved until it becomes safe to express it. Problems arise when we forget that we shelved a value!
As adults we have often forgotten what our real values are. We can never be fully confident until we are living lives that allow us to express those values. Treating the young woman’s vulnerability issue allowed her to discover that she had blocked herself from expressing the value of being “entitled to stand up for myself”. Kinesiology techniques allowed her to access the stress relating to the expression of that value and eliminate it. The following week she had an argument, in public with a bullying co-worker and won. Crucially, the incident took nothing our of her. Instead it unfolded for her with ease in a way that was comfortable and new. There was less emotional drama, fear, embarrassment…. no big deal!